1) Bad movies that are so bad that, in their own special way, are actually kind of good. Examples include Road House, The Fifth Element, Snakes On A Plane, Showgirls and Sharktapus (or any other SyFy made-for-TV movie).
2) Bad movies that are so bad that they are very, very bad. Examples include any movie starring Lindsay Lohan not named Mean Girls and any movie starring Nicolas Cage made after 1998.
I'm not quite sure what happened to Nicolas Cage. In 1995, he won the Oscar for Leaving Las Vegas. This was followed by the trifecta of great movies and box office hits The Rock, Con Air and Face/Off.
And then it all went downhill. Over the last 15 years, with the exception of National Treasure, Nicolas Cage has starred in such box office bombs as 8MM, Snake Eyes, Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Windtalkers, Ghost Rider, Knowing, Grindhouse, Bangkok Dangerous.....
But, after this past weekend, I can now say that I have seen what is without a doubt the worst one of all:
The movie tagline reads: Be Careful What You Search For.
And boy were they not kidding.
I don't know if I have the vocabulary to accurately reflect how awful this movie is. But, thanks to the magic of YouTube, I can show it.
Nicolas Cage Extreme Over-Acting?
Check.
Not bad enough? Well then how about
Your eyes???? What about our ears!!!! Aaaaaarrrrrggghhhhh.
Academy Award Worthy Dialogue?
Got that? Me either.
And, of course, this clip. The most random 42 seconds in the history of recorded cinema:
Ka-Pow!!
Nicols Cage prancing around the woods in a bear costume. A really confused grandmother dressed as Braveheart standing around in the background. And then Nic punching out a school marm.
Spoiler Alert: In the end, the evil villagers sacrifice Nicolas Cage by trapping him in a giant wicker man and burning him alive. Which I'm pretty sure actually makes them the good guys.
Plus, they did it on the day of tomorrow. Or is that the day after tomorrow? I'm still confused on that point.
So congratulations, Nic! You can not possibly top The Wicker Man.
Wait, what's that? You have a movie coming out later this year called Drive Angry 3D?
I guess we'll just have to wait and see about that.
